


Deserving?

by WeirdEmmaline (DeliaDestruction)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeliaDestruction/pseuds/WeirdEmmaline
Summary: Canon divergent at the end of Iron Man 3, Pepper Potts is dead and Tony Stark is depressed. As he's navigating through that depressive fog, a pair of visitors arrive from Asgard begging a favor from the billionaire. Will he find new love with an incredibly unlikely raven-haired man? (well ok I mean you saw the relationship tags I'm sure you can figure this out...)
Relationships: Loki & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Pitiful, Mournful Thing

For the fifth straight night that week, Tony Stark woke drenched in cold sweat and screaming the name of a woman he wished so desperately that he could forget.  _ Too much. Too slow. Too  _ late _ … _ The billionaire scolded himself as he ran his hands through his hair, gasping for breath as his heart beat erratically beneath the shining arc reactor. Oh, if he knew that it wouldn’t be a  _ painful _ way to go out, he would rip the reactor right out of his chest and be done with it. 

It had all started with him not being able to sleep. And then after what happened to Pepper, he  _ definitely _ couldn’t sleep…. Now?

Now it had been nearly eight weeks since her funeral. He’d only been able to sleep for a handful of nights throughout that entire time, and only a few of those nights did he even get a full night’s rest. And  _ that _ was only because he’d drunk himself into a stupor. The rest of those days he had been lucky if he’d passed out across his workbench for an hour or slumped over the couch while trying to catch up on current events. 

Now he was lucky if he got even a few hours of sleep in before waking up feeling like he was having a heart attack after reliving the events of her death over and over and over in his own private little hell. Now, if he was lucky, he would be able to have a quick drink, a quick piss, and perhaps a quick wank, and he’d be back asleep. Was Tony Stark ever lucky, though?

Oh, he was certain someone out there thought he was. He certainly didn’t believe he was. Oh, sure, he’d had good luck in the past, but it was only really ever to correct the atrocious luck he’d had or a terrible choice he’d made that had gotten him in hot water. Where was that supposed good luck when Pepper had fallen?

The same place it was now when Tony tried to fall asleep again more often than not: nowhere to be found. 

“It is 3:06 AM, sir,” Jarvis offered helpfully as Tony flopped back against the mattress and pulled a pillow over his head. “Perhaps some tea and some light reading--”

“Jarvis, I am aware I’m awake, why would you think I want to hear what time it is? I just want to go back to  _ sleep _ ,” the billionaire grumbled, dragging the pillow down his face and glaring at the ceiling. 

“I am merely trying to offer help, sir,” Jarvis replied. Tony scowled and covered his face with the pillow once more, sighing softly when he realized that neither pillow that sat upon his bed still held her scent. 

“I miss her, Jarvis.” 

“I know you do, sir.” 

Another sigh and Tony tossed the pillow aside, lying still on his back for another handful of seconds, willing his heart to stop beating so erratically while it continued to ignore that demand. Oh, he’d promised Pepper he’d get the thing removed, get the metal shards removed from his chest, too…. Now?

What was the point now? He coughed painfully as he finally gave up and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and throwing off his blankets.The air in the penthouse was silent and still beyond the distant, constant hum that came from his workshop. He  _ loathed _ how quiet it was there now. He’d never been much of one for  _ silence _ or for being fully  _ alone _ . Left alone whilst he worked? Now that he was fond of. Being alone at night when all is silent and still? 

There weren’t that many times that he truly and honestly missed his random sleeping around, knowing full well that he was in no shape to go out and have random hookups  _ now _ , but he certainly missed waking up to a warm body curled up beside him. 

He pushed himself up onto his feet and padded over to the master bathroom, yawning deeply as Jarvis turned only the most necessary and dimmest of lights on to aid the man in finding the toilet. Once Tony retreated from the bathroom once more, the room went dark once more, lights only turning on briefly enough to illuminate his path as he wandered out to to the kitchen, forgoing even the bar, at least for now. 

He considered the contents of his pantry for a lot longer than he probably should have before moving to the refrigerator, which he studied the contents of for even longer. 

Finally he settled on a glass of chocolate milk that he brought with him to his workshop. 

***

Tony Stark would not get any further sleep that night, and by the time his first meeting rolled around later that day that was quite apparent. He’d already chugged nearly two entire pots of coffee on his own, and while it had made him jittery and filled him with a frenetic sort of energy that would not allow him to sit still, his eyes were drooping and his mood plummeted at the drop of a hat. 

It would be a long day, made only longer by things he could not possibly have foreseen. 

As he approached his final meeting of the day, he was tempted to ask his new assistant to simply clear his schedule for the day, hell for the rest of the week. It was a Thursday, he only had one meeting Friday morning and then he was to be free until mid-afternoon on Tuesday. 

With a sigh, he gave in and headed for the elevator. It was just one more meeting, and it was really the only one he’d been looking forward to for the day. He could always come up with an excuse to miss the meeting in the morning. Surely dealing with Research and Development would put him in a better mood. Surely--

There was a loud, distant roar as the lights flickered and the elevator car shook. Tony seemed to, quite suddenly, snap out of his daze as he grabbed for the handrail, eyes wide. It took him a moment to recognize the sound, but then he groaned. Of  _ course _ Thor would return  _ now _ . Now, when Tony wanted nothing to do with the Avengers at all.  _ Let me grieve _ , he thought, shaking his head as the elevator continued on, shaking slightly but not seizing or freefalling. 

Once he reached his destination floor, he refused to turn back around and go see what the hell the Asgardians wanted now. If Thor were back, Thor would have to wait until after he had attended to his obligations. At least, that was how Tony wanted to do it. He had barely made it to the lab he was meant to meet the team in when Jarvis summoned him to the penthouse. 

“I am sorry, sir, I am aware you are busy, but your presence is required,” the AI said regretfully. Well, as regretfully as the AI could sound without seeming wholly sarcastic. Tony sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. “Shall I tell them you are on your way?”

_ Them? Just  _ who _ did Thor bring with him this time?  _ Tony wondered as he pushed the door open to the lab. “Yeah, I’ll be up presently. Let me just…” 

“Of course, sir.” 

“...Are we even sure it’s wise to have him working on this?” Tony heard the hushed voices of the team he was meant to meet with as he stepped into the room, seemingly unnoticed as of yet. “He’s such a pitiful, mournful thing now… Last week he made that error that could’ve been deadly if we’d tested it without catching that--” The young woman who’d been speaking cut herself off with a loud clearing of her throat before chuckling nervously. “Shit, hey, Mr. Stark, didn’t see you standing there, when’d you come in?” 

“Oh, long enough ago to hear what you probably didn’t want me to, Miss Jenks. I think you’ll all be happy to hear I must postpone this meeting until next week. I’ll have Miss Eaton send out a revised timetable once I’ve had a look at my schedule.” Tony turned to exit before glancing casually over his shoulder. “Oh and Miss Jenks? Let’s try to keep the gossip off the clock, hmm?” 

Back to the elevator Tony went, impatiently scrolling through his social media as he traveled up to the penthouse. After this, whatever  _ this _ was, he was going to get shitfaced and go to bed.  _ That _ much he had decided by the time the elevator reached the top of the publicly accessible floors. His ass was dragging now and frankly he wished he hadn’t stayed up after that nightmare.

_ That nightmare… _ He shuddered as it crossed his mind once more and hurried out of the elevator. 

There were plenty of things that Tony had considered as plausible options for why Thor wanted to see him. Him standing beside his brother, Loki, was  _ not _ one such option, and Tony froze up, all the color leaving his face when he saw the black-haired man standing in his sitting room. Thor offered Tony a jovial smile and a friendly wave. Loki simply watched him, his lips curling up just slightly in a ghost of an amused smirk. 

“Friend Stark!” Thor exclaimed as the billionaire came to a stop just a few steps from the elevator. “Tis good to see you again!”

“Thor! It’s… Well. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. Your brother, either, I thought--”

“Ah, yes, he is why we are here. I have a rather… enormous favor to ask of you.”

“Whatever it is, Thor? My answer is no,” Tony replied with a light, teasing tone, but the look in his eyes was deadly serious as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I suppose I deserve that,” Loki said quietly, not moving from the spot where he stood but slightly cocking his head and shifting his posture. “Perhaps we can come to some kind of compromise. I haven’t all that many options available to me at current…” 

“I fail to see where that is my problem,” Tony replied plainly. “Of all the people in the world, why would you approach  _ me _ about anything to do with him?” He nodded toward Loki while addressing Thor. 

“You have the resources and the will to help people!” Thor countered, that jovial tone never once leaving his voice. “Come, friend Stark, surely you’d be willing to allow him to stay in that space you said would be available to me when I must return to Midgard--”

“I told you he wouldn’t go for this, you buffoon!” Loki hissed, rolling his eyes and seemingly-playfully smacking the blond on his arm before turning and looking away from the other two men. “You can’t truly expect the man to welcome me back with open arms after I defenestrated him.  _ Really, _ Thor.” 

“You want me to house a  _ criminal _ ?” Tony asked dryly. Thor gave him a rather sheepish look. 

“My father has banished him from Asgard,” he said after a moment. Loki rolled his eyes. 

“ _ You _ needn’t act embarrassed over any of this, you oaf. Tis not like  _ you’ve _ been exiled, Thor. No, Odin would  _ never _ truly banish his golden child.” There was no way to hide the bitterness in Loki’s words. If Tony wasn’t so on-edge at seeing the man who’d tried to take over the Earth in his sitting room  _ again,  _ he might’ve laughed. 

“Ah, yes, that’s definitely going to make me want to open up my home to him,” Tony said with a sigh. “What happened to him being properly punished?”

“What, pray tell, do you think  _ this _ is, Stark?” Loki asked, addressing him directly. “I certainly can’t count this as a fun vacation. No, I have been exiled from Asgard without being offered a chance to atone for my sins. My choices are to go out and try to make something of myself somewhere out there, or fall back upon this  _ wonderful _ and  _ fully thought out _ plan that this oaf has devised.”

Now  _ that _ got a slight smirk out of Tony in spite of himself, Loki’s sarcasm. Loki’s sarcasm that seemed to go right over the head of the oversized golden lab that stood beside him. Tony sighed deeply. “I suppose, if you truly haven’t another option. I can’t guarantee that you’ll be safe from SHIELD once they figure out that you’re on Earth again…” 

A slight smirk was the bulk of Tony’s answer from Loki. “Oh, I think I’m willing to take those chances…”


	2. You Still Owe Me That Drink

It hadn’t taken long to move the exiled god into the floor that was destined to be Thor’s when he was on Earth and  _ not _ following his little scientist around. Thor had returned, briefly, to Asgard and returned with an arguably small number of personal items belonging to Loki. Loki had dutifully followed as Tony gave him a brief tour of the floor and stood quietly yet not at all awkwardly whilst the man-shaped dog that he’d grown up calling brother carefully lugged Loki’s items into the master bedroom. 

“I’ve no need to keep this room for myself,” Thor had explained. “I won’t be here, Loki will.” 

Tony hadn’t realized just how true to his word Thor intended to be. Once Loki’s meager belongings were moved in, Thor had immediately returned to Asgard— after profusely thanking the billionaire once more for his willingness to do this. 

And suddenly, Tony and Loki were alone on the balcony of the penthouse. There was a not entirely awkward silence between the two of them as they sized each other up, and for a few minutes it was up in the air whether Loki or Tony would speak first and break the silence. 

Loki regarded the other man curiously, making it plain that he was looking at Tony but somehow managing to not seem like he was staring. 

“You needn’t worry yourself, Stark. I’m truly not planning anything foul for your little rock. It is as I stated with my brother here, I have been exiled. What few belongings you see are what I could safely have Thor grab for me before Odin sealed off my wing.” The bitterness in loki's voice was unmistakable. 

“So why come  _ here _ ?” Tony asked. “Surely there’s gotta be some other place in the all the universe that you’d rather be…”

“There is, I used to call it home,” Loki replied matter-of-factly as he let his arms fall loosely to his sides. “No, you are not so foolish as to think that I am welcome just anywhere I go. I had, fully,  _ truly _ expected that you would say no and I would have to move on to another place that  _ could _ be a home to me, but the place I’d  _ prefer _ to be…” The raven-haired man shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “I won’t be a bother. Oh, I know you said you’d offer me no protections from SHIELD or your friends, but if you could… Address me as Lukas if you must mention me at all? You’re the only one who shall be able to see me for who I truly am, after all.”

Tony’s brows furrowed in confusion and Loki just laughed. “Surely you have heard fairy tales in your past, Stark? Not simply stories meant for children of fanciful things that couldn’t possibly exist like magical princes and far away kingdoms…” the demigod’s voice was positively dripping with sarcasm and if Tony didn’t feel so patronized by his tone he would be absolutely certain Loki and he would get along swimmingly from here on. 

“What do fairies have to do with any of this?” Tony asked, sighing and rolling his eyes. “To the point, Reindeer Games, before we grow old.” 

Loki looked Tony up and down slowly, a shark like grin spreading slowly over his lips. “Who is this  _ we  _ of which you speak, Stark? Have you a mouse in your pocket? You shall perish long before  _ I’ve _ grown old…” He was pleased to see that Tony looked quite  _ done  _ with him. Yes, he’d chosen well in where he would live. Stark would be quite amusing to tease, if his current reactions were anything to go by. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“You haven’t allowed me to, what was it, get to my point? Yet. It is not as though I am telling you an uncut history of Asgard,” Loki said dryly. “Back to what I was saying. You know of fairies, yes? How they can disguise themselves with magic? Glamour? That is what I will be using. Oh, it may not throw off SHIELD but it certainly should fool your little pals.” 

“Well, good for you. If you need anything, just tell Jarvis and he’ll order you what you need or he’ll let me know. I’m gonna just go ahead and…” Tony gestured over his shoulder toward the elevator with his thumb and shrugged. 

“Hmmm, Stark?” Loki asked in an almost sing-song as Tony headed for the elevator. Tony stopped, sighing deeply. 

“Yes?” he asked after a second. Loki smirked. Tony couldn’t even see it but he knew that the demigod was smirking at him. 

“I believe you still owe me that drink.” 

A near-inaudible groan escaped him before he turned around and forced a grin. He wanted to be left alone, damnit. Couldn’t Loki read the room? Oh, Tony was certain he could. He could see that the billionaire just wanted to be left alone. He just didn’t care. Or he wanted to exacerbate the pain he could see in the man. 

Or he just didn’t care. That was the option that seemed most likely to Tony. “Of course. Where are my manners. Come right on up.”

Loki almost seemed to hesitate before crossing the room to follow the human. They rode the elevator together in silence. Exceptionally awkward silence. 

Once in the penthouse, Tony walked directly to the bar while Loki allowed himself a little bit of a wander. Ah, such memories. Such incredibly not fond memories. Well, minus the flyting. Oh, he’d very much enjoyed that. 

Loki wasn’t blind. He could tell that Tony was, rather obviously, not interested in interacting with him right now. He could smell the depression on him. And that was precisely why he refused to leave the man alone right now. He wouldn’t pry, certainly it was not his place to know what had Stark so down, but he was not going to allow Stark to wallow and bring his own mood down even further. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the length of time that has passed between chapter one and chapter two. Updated update schedule: Once every two weeks, usually on Thursdays. May still happen more often than that, but a minimum of one chapter every two weeks. Thank you so much for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be endeavoring to update this fic at least once per week, usually on Sundays. No idea how long it's gonna end up being.


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